The officer said, "She's a cutey, isn't she?" asking the waitress for two more Johnny Walker's.
"She's too young for you," I whispered.
"How old are you?" he asked.
"Twenty-One," she said.
"See," I said.
"So how do you find it?"
"Well it's the white city. White stone. Where do you find white stone?"
"How do I know," he said.
"Neither do I. But I would suspect you look for a river with calcium deposits."
"If it existed, the army would have found it."
"Actually, it's referenced on army topo maps of Honduras. But they are off by at least 200 miles. There are hundreds of undiscovered ruins in Mosquitia. The army just botched up their maps," I said.
The officer turned to the stewardess. "Honey, you haven't been a stewardess for very long, have you?"
I felt sorry for her, so I asked him about his favorite subject, "Why haven't you guys been able to take out Saddam?"
"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." That was the fourth time he had said that to me. "We can't even talk about assassination in the army."
When the plane landed, the officer said, "Have fun looking for your Monkey God," and turned to the Stewardess.

The
back side of Monkey Face, Great Basin Desert, Oregon |
Brother
Hans was waiting at the airport, talking the whole time about Monkey Face,
trees and religion. We bent out for the east, over Mount Hood and through
Bend, a rare kind of town with a vibe, and a style.
In
the morning, we drove east, with coffee and the snow. I was peering out
the window, thinking, watching the lines of fog funnel through the gulches.
Eastern
Oregon is a blank slate. Physically this observation is redundant, because
the northern border of the great basin desert, which extends from here
to Idaho and southern Nevada, is both scarcely populated and scantily
vegetated. There are few, if any popular monuments either natural or constructed.
The
north Great Basin's slate, however, is its lack of place in American vernacular
and mythologizing about place. Few outside of hunting, farming and fishing
circles comprehend eastern Oregon for what it really is...not an extension
of the Pacific Northwest's foggy drizzle, but a unique and expansive subcategory
of North America.
We
crossed out of Cascadia into a sheet of broad, high flat ranges of scrub,
pinyon, juniper, double-wides and farm ranges. The snow-spotted high plains
are punctuated only by occasional deep ravines, or broad rivers like the
north-flowing Deschutes, or the appropriately named Crooked, which bends
about an outcropping of rock in a one hundred and eighty degree arc.
This
outcropping is called Smith Rock. Being a distinct mound of lopsided juts
and sheer faces, it's appearance against the flat of Eastern Oregon is
almost religious. Eastern Oregon is not exotic, it is simple beauty, nothing
more.
"Matsu's
garden whispers at you, never shouts; it leads you down a path hoping
for more, as if everything is seen, not hidden. There's a quiet beauty
here I only hope I can capture on canvas."
-
Gail Tsukiyama, The Samurai's Garden
Brother
Hans pulled out of his truck all those things that us Angeleno's find
foreign. Gloves, Scandinavian sweaters, hats, ropes, pulleys, scarves,
wool socks. We walked for some time, not talking. Up the Smith Rock in
the fog, past the Junipers and the ground cover. Up into the lichen and
snow. Hans threw a rope over a cliff and put me in a harness. Told me
to jump. He followed behind and we continued in the snow; up a narrow
path on a slope. This, I thought, was life. Walking is underrated these
days.
When
we reached the peak of Smith Rock at nightfall, we could see it. A giant
column of stone thrusting from the mountain. Monkey Face. The image of
the monkey god; the stern gorilla, with his heavy brow and deep gaze.
Monkey Face is just a natural formation, but it looked heroic, like it
was carved by man.
I
was out of breath, but brother Hans didn't seem to have lifted a finger.